Scraped knees, Concrete, and Grief: A Starfish Moment in the Healing Process
Crystal Senter-Brown
The wind was out to get me.
Or maybe it was the broom that blew over into my path.
We had a lot of rain the night before last, and some items in our yard got blown around. I left my home while it was still dark, but I assumed the path was clear to my car. But instead of waiting for the motion light to come on to light my path, I started walking toward my car. Big mistake!
As soon as I felt something against the front of my feet, it was too late. I tumbled forward, and ended up splayed out like a starfish. The cold, wet concrete beneath me, my keys a few feet away.
I laid there for what felt like hours, but it really was only a few seconds.
I immediately scanned my body to assess how I was feeling. Was anything broken? No. Sprained? No.
But as I laid there, I also felt very sad, because my first thought was to call my mother. I was hurt, so our moms are our first wants when we are injured, right?
Then I remembered I couldn’t call her, so I collected myself, and found myself back on my feet.
And while I was physically okay aside from a few bruises and a scraped knee, I was sad for most of the day, because It was the first time I have gotten hurt since my mother passed away in 2022.
My mama was always my first call when I was hurt- I would ask if I should go to the doctor and she would always make me feel better. She knew I was anxious, and her words always soothed me.
I am sharing this to remind you that, even if there has been some time since your loved one passed, don’t be surprised if little things bring you right back into your grieving space.
An event, a scent, even a sound can bring it to the forefront.
And while other people might tell you to push past it, I am telling you to sit still, and feel it fully.
Cry if you need to.
Scream if you need to.
Go to one of those rooms where you can smash stuff if you feel you need it!
Whatever you need to do to process your grief, do it.
Let’s Get Sentered:
In taking care of ourselves in the way our loved ones would have wanted us to.
