Blue eyeliner is for tramps
Made to Crave
As I stated in an earlier blog this week, I went to high school in the late 80s/early 90s, which means my fashion sense (even now 🤣👀) is heavily influenced by this time period, think: Denise Huxtable
and Freddie Brooks: earthy crunchy/ boho/ bright colors.
Make-up was off-limits to me until I turned 16 and even then, the only makeup I was allowed was brown eyeliner and a clear lip gloss.
Keep in mind, all of my friends could wear Wet and Wild COLORED eyeliner: blue, glittery, purple, etc.
But my mother said that brown
women with brown eyes like mine should ONLY wear brown eyeliner and earth tones for eye makeup.
She said only tramps wore blue eyeliner. (By all means, mom, don’t hold your tongue.)
Now, if you have been following along, you know that I snuck an ENTIRE mini skirt out of the house in high school, so a tiny tube of eyeliner was light work for me! 💁🏽♀️😂
Oh but don’t get it twisted, whenever I WOULD
wear colored eyeliner I would always wash it off before I got home using those paper towels in the high school bathroom- you know the brown ones that turned to mush if you wet them?
But even 20 years later, I still hold that “brown eyeliner/ brown woman/ brown eyes) rule in the back of my mind when I knew I would be traveling to see my mom in Tennessee.
My mother is living here now (in memory care) and sadly has been on some type of lockdown for 9 months due to Covid restrictions. This means our once-daily visits and weekend day-long visits have been reduced to one 30 minute visit one day a week. (But I am grateful because we went 10 weeks in the summer without seeing each other at all due to Covid.
As her memory declines, I know this 30 min time period is very precious so I always bring. something from the “outside world” to see if it triggers a memory. My best friend Teka started me doing this a few years ago when my aunt and was in the hospital in Boston for a few months and away from family.
When summer first arrived, We were allowed to take her out of the facility, so I took her for ice cream and to see the beautiful. murals downtown.
When the Fall season first arrived, she had been hospitalized for a few weeks with pneumonia and had not been outside, so. I brought crisp leaves,
and sticks to the hospital. (Swipe to see)
Yesterday when I visited I brought snow for her to make a snowball but I also did something very sinister: I wore blue eyeliner! 😈 (insert evil witch laugh)
As I sat there waiting for them to bring her into the visiting area, I wondered if she would notice my eyeliner.
Who was I kidding? As soon as she laid eyes on me she said “Crys”, what on earth do you have on your eyes?”
This was a playful 😈 way for me to connect with my mother, and a way for me to see if she would remember how much you hated blue eyeliner.
And oh, she did.
Is there an “elder” In your life who holds you to a certain standard (moral/ spiritual/ fashion, etc)?
Maybe this person does not like to see you in tight/ wrinkled clothing or see you wear your hair a certain way.
If so, how do you handle it as an adult? Do you still honor their wishes when you are with them?
And now that you are…ahem…”seasoned”, do you find yourself holding younger people to the same standard?